After a lecture, I was asked about the difficult questions from E-MAIL reply. One of the questions attracted me: "My wife wants to leave, what should I do if I don't want to cooperate?" It seems that it should be a question asked by a gentleman who accompanied her wife to the lecture. It can be seen that there are many conflicts or differences in opinion in the collation between the couple. However, this is indeed a situation that many families will have. I wonder how you, who are watching this article, view this problem?

The honest official is difficult to get a family matter. There will be no standard answers for this question. The methods used by each family are also different, but we can draw a trick to explore the real meaning behind this question. In my lecture, I have provided this gentleman with three directions of thinking:

1. Why don't you want to leave?

2. Why does the wife want to leave?

3.What is your common goal now?

Why don't you want to leave?

I want to stop leaving and should be interpreted by this gentleman as the synonym for "things". From this we can see that he is now resistant to abandoning items. Even though he knows that there are no items in use, what is the reason why you want to stay at home? Have you ever had a bad experience of having your belongings abandoned by your wife? Have you ever been forced to take away something that you still love very much? Is it because the wife blamed the husband for not losing things, but the wife herself kept buying things?

Or, you are worried that abandoning items will lead to bad consequences, life will be inconvenient, you will not be able to buy them when you need to use them, it is a pity to spend a lot of money to buy them, etc. Do you feel that you seem to have lost the right to take charge of the items and are forced to make a decision, which makes you feel uncomfortable?

Why does the wife want to leave?

When a couple is together for a long time, many value views or opinions will affect each other, but their opinions on sorting out this matter are very similar. Have you ever asked the wife why she wants to abandon the items?

Is she found that there were really too many items in her home, so many that she could manage, and even a little self-responsible? Or maybe the wife has experienced the advantages brought by the organization, so I hope you can follow along?

Or does the wife have no time or does not want to spend too much time to organize her home, and losing things seems to be the fastest way? The wife may consider organizing and doing family affairs as a language of love, and she may think that creating a comfortable space is a manifestation of love for herself, her husband, and her children?

What are your common goal now?

List your current common goals. Is there anything related to "organizing"? If so, then "optimal resignation and exquisite items" will be one of the methods needed to achieve these goals. It cannot be just a single effort, but both husband and wife must be positive and common.

The purpose of sorting is not to make things happen

If you carefully explore the reasons behind it, you will find these problems that occur at home. Rarely, there are few things that seem trivial in life and some minor troubles in front of you, which will cause the family to have rifts and gradually turn into marijuana troubles in the future. However, the greater trouble is that the lack of understanding or even misunderstanding. The reason why the other party wants to do this or not do this is because his wife thinks that the husband doesn't want to lose things because he is old-fashioned. In fact, he just doesn't want to "be asked to leave and lose things"; the husband thinks that the wife looks at her things very unsightly and disrespects, but in fact, the wife just wants to make the hotel you have built at home as comfortable as the one you have liked.

The purpose of sorting is not to lose things, just as the purpose of losing weight is not to strengthen your stomach, and the purpose of managing your finances is not to remember. Eating less and remembering is just a way to achieve your goal.

"Space" and "items" are originally repulsive. The more items you have, the less space you can use; "You have to spend time sorting" and "You don't want to reduce items" are also repulsive. If you don't want to spend time sorting, don't leave so many items. If you want to keep everything, then take time to manage them well. You can't ask your partner to stay away from grass again, you can't ask your partner to keep your home clean, but you don't want to lose your own things, and don't work hard on your family. Be careful that over time, the troublesome problem will turn into: "The partner wants to leave me, what if you don't want to cooperate?"

Change the position number and place it in a position, and the result is much worse.